Monday morning

Ugh! Normally I love the peace of Monday morning, after a busy family weekend. But today was Just Awful, and it's only 9:30!

We got up late, because I stayed up until 11:30 writing and chatting with Michelle G. and Kristal on Yahoo. (Thanks, girls, for your encouragement!) I didn't notice that DH, in a fit of zealous dishwashing, had taken the filter basket and coffee pot off of the coffee maker and washed them last night, leaving them in the drainer. I know, I know it's stupid of me, but I can't tell you how many times I've stumbled into the kitchen in the morning, filled the pot with coffee and water and turned it on, only to have the coffee cascade over the counter and floor. It happened again today!

DS is getting worse and worse with his pickniness with food, probably because I'm pushing him to eat a wider variety so, like a mule, he's digging in his heels. I had no idea what to put in his lunch, so I tossed in the ubiquitous cheese stick, which will probably come home untouched, and a packet of pretzels and some juice. My hair is disgusting because I haven't washed it in two days preparatory to coloring it, so I put makeup on and stuck my hair in a ponytail under a ball cap and we left for school.

DS wanted to race, and ran down the sidewalk, his backpack bouncing on his shoulders. I didn't discourage this - hey, he's exercising! - but I should have, because he tripped and fell on the cement, prompting tears and protests that he didn't want to go to school. I promised him a Band-aid from the nurse when we got there, but he dug in his heels - literally - and I had to threaten and drag him the rest of the way, feeling like the worst mom in the world for not stopping him from running. Not to mention the fact that we drew stares from all the passing neighbors. (The crossing guard, however, was sympathetic.)

So I walked back home, thinking about all the things I have to do and the loan we're signing tonight for the new windows and the fact that the Caravan is making funny noises again, and wondered for the umpteenth time if it is really worth the struggle to write this fantasy novel and if I should just go get a job. I cleaned up the coffee and made a fresh pot of REALLY STRONG caffeine, had a couple of the delicious homemade cookies that DS refused to eat last night (oatmeal-chocolate chip-walnut-raisin-cranberry), and read my Bible. This is what I read:

Then I said, ‘I have labored in vain,
I have spent my strength for nothing and in vain;
Yet surely my just reward is with the LORD,
And my work with my God.’”
-Isaiah 49:4, NKJV

I just have to keep reminding myself that, for whatever reason, God has put this story on my mind and heart to write. I was telling K. and M.G. last night that the characters don't even resemble the actors I had in mind when I first started writing it a year and half ago. They are their own people, so real, it's almost frightening.

(later)

P.S. I take that back. Faldur still looks like Hugh Jackman, I just forgot that it was Hugh that he looked like! I mostly think of him (Jackman) as Wolverine from the X-men, all moody and withdrawn. And besides being incredibly sexy (the hard-to-get ones always are), that's an important part of his character: his reticence. Like Aragorn, he's got a lot of secrets and has to be very careful what he reveals and to whom.

P.P.S. DS ate the cheese stick, and seems to have recovered from the emotional impact of his mishap. And my class went really well this afternoon! We got into the beginning of the pre-calculus stuff: namely functions and the difference quotient
f(x+h)-f(x)/h.
Call me wierd, but I love that stuff!

Candlelit Morning

It's not quite 5 a.m. I've been awake since 4 and decided to get up and write. I turned the brightness on my monitor way down and lit a candle in the office, so as not to give myself a headache. It's pouring rain outside. I've left the window open so I can hear the rain pummeling the leaves and dripping off the gutters.

My characters have been blessed with good weather so far. Mainly because even Hanorja, who have excellent eyesight, can't see through raindrops, which would seriously dampen the action. There's been a lot of action, (well, not a LOT of action, but a lot for me), and some blood, and now everyone is recuperating before the next stage. I better go find out what happens.

See 'ya!

September

Autumn is here, with cooler temperatures and that sense of latent excitement that always accompanies the change of seasons. The colors haven't changed yet; I'm hoping that since we've had plenty of rain, we'll have an atypically glorious Fall. I saw a few red birch leaves on the ground when I was walking Teddy yesterday. Of course, they start dropping red leaves in August, so that's no biggie. This is Ted's favorite time of year, because the squirrels endlessly forage for acorns in yard, and he loves to dash out and catch them by surprise. They go streaking and squeaking for the fence with his fluffy white person in hot pursuit. He would go in and out the back door all day, if I let him.

Teddy is in Heaven, having me home again. Last year he was miserable with our long days away from home and started chewing things in the house. One thing I can say for that... our living room is a lot cleaner now that we have to pick it up every time we leave! I haven't made much progress with the house yet. I've done a few things, but with starting my new teaching job at the college and getting DS started in a new school, plus Eti's funeral, and working part time for Marci and Steve, I've been plenty busy. I still can't believe Eti's gone, but I know she's in a better place, waiting for us to join her one day.

The book is weighing on me. I always feel this horrible tension between wanting to just work on it all day without interruption, and feeling that I need to be doing other things. The sink is full of dirty dishes this morning and the house needs cleaning, as we are having friends over for dinner tonight, and I have to go to the store, and help at in my son's classroom this afternoon. But I'm going to set aside a couple of hours this morning to write, because I have to, and if someone drops by and sees the dirty dishes or the books and mail piled up on the table, too bad.

It's really true, that saying that "Being a writer is like having homework every night." Sometimes I dread writing and put it off, other times I can't wait to get working. Most of the time, I'm excited about the book. I just pray that others will be excited too, when it's finally done. I feel so blessed right now to be able to stay home and work on it, like God knew exactly what I needed. DS is in school, and I have a couple of little jobs to get me out of the house and add a trickle of income. It's Heaven for me! The only drawback is the loneliness. I do find myself blathering on to the checkout girl at the supermarket, or the other parents at the school, just because I need someone to talk to. But that's okay! That's what blogs are for, right?

PS I was just looking over past posts, and saw in the "Random Stuff" list from May that one of my wishes was "windows." That wish has come true... we're getting new windows for our house! Hooray!!!