Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Discombobulated

I'm feeling "discombobulated" today. That's one of my grandmother's words. It means "having self-possession upset; thrown into confusion."

(For some reason, that word makes me think of Cinderella's fairy godmother. "Bippity, Boppity, Boo!" Yes, I'm random this morning.)

The world has turned upside-down yet again, and I woke up in a panic in the middle of the night. I know it's just my subconscious just trying to adjust to another continental shift in my world.

But, never fear, it's a good one! But even good adjustments are still adjustments.


The Big News is:
I have found gainful employment, and will start working full-time as of August 23rd.
This will be very good for us in the long term, as it will relieve a lot of the financial pressure we have been struggling under.  But it will require significant changes, obviously, in our day-to-day life.  DS will have to be in child care all day, the dogs will have to be cooped up in the house all day, and I will have to get used to commuting at rush hour in one of the most congested traffic areas in New Jersey outside of a major city.  

New Jersey is much too populated for its own good.

And of course it will put a damper on many of the family activities we have hitherto enjoyed due to my flexible part-time teaching schedule.  But we are explaining to DS that if I do this, we will be able to do some of the things we have been talking about for a long time but couldn't afford, like going to Disney World.  And I have promised DS that DS he's been asking for.  A Nintendo DS, that is.  We got him a PSP for the better graphics and bigger screen but all the other kids at school have DS's, so our DS has no DS with which to play interactively with the other kids in after care.  So this way he can participate more.

By the way, this morning I looked up how to program the PSP for the internet lobby mode in which he can create his own games and interact with other players on the Internet.  I seem to recall that at his age I was making doll house furniture out of toothpicks, jewelry boxes and scraps of fabric.  ???

I am nervous about how this new job will affect my ability to write.  But, truth be told, I may actually have MORE time if I'm not spending my weekends crafting lectures and grading papers.  I would like to strangle the person who told me what a great family-oriented career teaching is.  B--- S---!  You may be physically home at the same time your family is, but you have to spend that time doing so much extra work that you might as well just have a regular office job.  And this office job pays three times the salary of my teaching. Which is just wrong.

This new job looks very interesting and challenging, but not as stressful as my pre-DS career was.  I am branching out into a new specialty and learning new techniques.  I will also be working pretty much independently, creating my own position as I go. It's going to be a nice change to do things my way and be in charge. 


And of course this is all happening just as I am about to be "invaded" by family members for a week-long visit, so I only have a few days to prepare for their visit and for the new job.  I say "invaded" gently, because I am very much looking forward to their visit. It's just that there is always chaos and confusion when you have six people and two dogs jostling around in our little "cottage."  That's how I romanticize our small home. It's an American "cottage."

But that's life... never a dull moment. I'll be fine, I know it.  It's just a matter of coping with a little discombobulation.

7 comments:

Jen said...

How funny that we both focused on the same thing today. I was curious as to what people did during the day and here you are making big changes in your life. Go you! I understand the financial aspect. That is why I stay at the job I have they have great benefits and hours but it does require time to figure things out.

Writing will eventually work itself out but I'm a beginner, wrote my first novel in January and my second last month, being a newbie means I have a ton learn, but it's fun!

Good luck on the new job! And the family visiting! I look forward to the updates!

Christine H said...

You wrote your first novel in a month? Sheesh, I'm going on three and a half years. Now I feel depressed!

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

Congrats on the new job! Working full time might help focus your writing. I know when I have too much time to write, I seem to get less of it done.

Christine H said...

Ann, I think you are right about focus. My problem the past few years is that my schedule constantly changes, not just time of day but the specific class I have to teach, and I always have schoolwork hanging over me. I think eliminating that pressure and knowing I have a set schedule could be extremely helpful.

Michelle Gregory said...

congrats and i know how you feel. i'm a little discombobulated myself (and yes, that's a word we use around here quite a bit).

Christine H said...

Amazing! I get made fun of all the time around here for using Grandma's expressions. I thought it was a Pennsylvania Dutch thing.

Laura Martone said...

Christine, don't feel depressed. I've been working on my first novel for a decade. Course, that's with a lot of "off and on" time.

Anyway, congrats on the new job! It's always hard to balance the need for money with the desire for time... but I'm sure you'll figure it all out. In the meantime, I totally understand your discombobulation - by the way, that's one of MY grandma's favorite words, too!