Back from Lancaster

I just returned from a weekend retreat in Lancaster County, PA, also known as Amish Country. I attended with some of my fellow teachers and we stayed at the Willow Valley Family Resort. I didn't get much writing done, only a couple of pages , but I had a lovely time. Here is a photo of the beautiful stone house by the golf course.


I discovered the wonderful German springerle cookies at The Springerle House
in Strasburg, PA. Here is a photo of the cookies, a traditional German recipe that is pressed into molds to make edible works of art. I can't decide which flavor I like best: raspberry, almond or lemon-lavender. You can order them online... I think I will be doing so in the future! Springerle House

The funny thing is I actually have some miniature molds like this that I bought in Germany several years ago. I thought they were gingerbread molds. They are too big to be to scale for the cookies I bought this weekend, but the woman in the shop said that there are bigger springerle molds so the miniatures I have might be springerle. I had used some of that Crayola Magic stuff... the white puffy clay that hardens... to make imprints of the patterns so I actually made springerle for my dollhouse and didn't know it! How cool is that!

Here are photos of the hotel and chapel. The resort is very nice inside and the food was terrific! There was a prom Saturday night so we got to see all the youngsters in their pretty dresses and tuxedos.

I wish I could say I had some major spiritual revelation from the weekend, but I didn't. It was just a very nice, relaxing weekend away from home and work. Which was just what I needed. I only wish I could have stayed for the rest of the week! I'd love to go back again for a writing holiday and spend more time in the little shops, as do some sightseeing as well. Maybe next year!

Is writing a gift or a calling?

Yesterday I got involved in a discussion of writing and whether it really is a "calling" from God or not. I apologize for getting a little defensive on the topic. It is one that I have struggled with mightily over the years. I was asked whether, if God asked me to stop writing and serve Him another way, I would obey or cling to what I perceive as my "calling."

The answer is Yes. Yes I would obey Him in whatever He asked of me for a season, but yes, I would also cling to my calling because I know it is a lifetime call. How do I know this? Because it is not just what I do, but a part of who God created me to be.

I think it is safe to say that there are at least two kinds of writers - those who write for intrinsic reasons, and those who write for extrinsic reasons. (There are probably others who fall somewhere in between.) Intrinsic writers like myself have been scribbling stories since we were old enough to hold a pencil; it is as essential to us as breathing. Extrinsic writers pick up the craft at some point in their lives in response to some external stimulus or need. They may write for the rest of their lives or for a season, but for them it is more of a choice than it is for the intrinsic writer.

As an intrinsic writer who spent a decade denying my gift in order to focus on my other responsibilities, I can attest to the fact that doing so makes me miserable and unfulfilled. God has consistently placed people and opportunities in my path to draw me back into using my talent. It has taken a lot of convincing for me to accept that such a seemingly selfish activity, which takes so much time and energy away from other things and has such an uncertain outcome, could ever be of value to God. But He has never stopped "calling" me. There is no more appropriate word for the clear, consistent urging of the Holy Spirit over the years. Therefore, while I would agree with the person who originally posed the question that we are called to obey God in all things, including how we use our gifts, I would argue that sometimes the gift itself contains a call - a call to obediently develop that gift throughout our lifetime.

One thing that encouraged me was a comment from a pastor friend, who observed that whenever we use the gifts that God has given us for no other reason that the pure joy of doing so, we are actually worshipping Him!

So these stories of mine are an act of worship, strange as it may seem. The obedience part, for me, is not a question of whether or not I should write, but in having the faith to keep at it no matter what. Even if I only manage a paragraph a week. Even if it's garbage. Even if I never get published. I need to cling to what I know I have to do, because God has placed within me a call I cannot extinguish. However He chooses to use my work in the end is fine with me.

But He can't use my writing at all if I never write.

It's a gift... and a curse

For those of you who are fans of the TV show "Monk," you may recognize the way that Detective Adrian Monk describes his abilities. In a pseudo-modest voice he intones "It's a gift... and a curse."

I've been feeling the same way about my writing lately. It's definitely a gift. People respond so eagerly to stories. They want to wring my neck for keeping them waiting for the next installment of whatever I'm working on. I have friends and family members who are still waiting for me to finish the romance novel I started in 2004. What amazes me is that they still even remember the characters' names and care about what happens to them.

The creative process itself is completely mysterious to me. I don't really know why sometimes I have good ideas and sometimes I don't, or where these people come from that live inside my head. My characters are as real to me as the people I live with every day. I remember hearing a quote from Michaelangelo about sculpting, that he just removed all the little bits of rock that didn't belong there, to reveal the figure inside.

The problem with this - the curse - is that I can never fully live in the present world. My stories are always there in the back of my mind, and as soon as I have a little quiet time they come to the front and start begging to be written. Since most of the time I can't sit down and write, they just rattle around in my brain playing scenes over and over, a little differently each time as the plot and characters fine-tune themselves. The only way to make it stop is to either write it down, which only causes me to start thinking about the next scene, or to ignore it so long that the ideas burn themselves out. (This is what happened with the romance novel.) I recently said to my husband, "I wonder what it would be like to live in only one world at a time." His reply was, "Well, you'll never know!" This was revealing; after ten years of marriage he finally understands!

My friend Michelle Gregory recently went to the Mt. Hermon Christian writer's conference and wrote this on her blog: "It was encouraging to see that there are many other people in this world who have stories and characters living in their heads, perhaps even keeping them up at night."

AMEN!

I need some fun!!!!

Hey there everyone... I was just thinking how desperately I need some fun!!!!! I know Easter break is coming up and I'll get to spend some time with my long-lost family over there in SnowLand. My sister said they got 13" Friday and were stranded in the house. We have only gotten two snowfalls this year, one 1" deep and one 3" deep. My poor son hasn't even gotten to build a snowman! All the poor kid wanted to do this winter is build a snowman. I'm actually starting to believe in Global Warming. Okay, I don't believe in global warming. I learned from the NOAA that our weather is due to the Gulf Stream which brings warm tropical water past the eastern seaboard. See why science is important for everyday life?

But what I really need is a "Girl's-Night-Out" kind of break. A "Laugh-out-loud, Be Obnoxious, Have too many Cokes" kind of break. A "Play Cranium Until Midnight" break.

Yesterday DH took DS to his sister's house so I could have some quiet time to get things done. I did manage to clear off the dining room table and get the Christmas tablecloth changed to the Easter one. And I gave the bathroom a good scrub. And did the grocery shopping. Woo hoo. Now I just need to borrow a steam shovel to clear out our office/guest room. And I have tons of papers to grade and lesson plans to do today. I'd rather go to Longwood Gardens and look at flowers.

The point is, I wish I could have gone along with them and hung out for the day with the kids. But no. I had to stay home by myself, nose to the grindstone. Whine, whine, complain, complain! Okay, I'm done now.

My son just wanted to spend time with me Friday night. I was seeking solace in a book; my brain was so fried it was all I could do to stay alert until bedtime. So he climbed into the recliner and read next to me. It was rather squished but really, really nice. He is so awesome... what a great kid! I know I'm being a mom now but he is really, really doing well in school and is well-behaved to boot. People say I must be a great mom but the truth is, he just came that way. God knew how much I could handle, I suppose.

Anyway, enough rambling. Have to rouse myself to get to church an hour earlier today.

Have a blessed Sunday! Easter is coming! I love Easter even more than Christmas... It always makes me want to climb on the roof and shout "HE IS RISEN!!!! JESUS IS RISEN!!!!!" Corny, but true!

Oh my goodness!

I just popped in here and checked my statcounter. You gals are still checking in regularly to see if I've written anything. I'm so sorry!!!! I can't wait until summer when I'm done teaching for the year. This has been such an overwhelming school year... I can't even begin to convey how consumed I have been with school stuff. But I promise I'll be back eventually!

It's great to know I have such wonderful friends!

The Deathly Hallows

I finally finished reading "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows." I know I'm a little behind the times. I purposely avoided reading the Harry Potter books before now because I knew they would be all-consuming until I finished them and I didn't have the time to spare. But a month ago I decided that I really needed some escapist reading, as well as just wanting to know what happened in the books (I've seen all the movies so far.) So I have been carrying these huge library books around with me everywhere, hoping to snatch a few minutes of reading on my lunch break or after school, staying up at night until I can't keep my eyes open, reading, reading, reading....

First of all, I have to say that Joanne Rowling deserves all of the credit and fortune she has gained. She has created a fictional world just as shining and real and tangible as Tolkein's or Lewis's. I also have to give her a standing ovation for including powerful Christian themes woven within a tapestry that the post-Christian world can understand and accept. That is her greatest accomplishment in the books, I believe. Her Christian detractors (including my beloved Dr. Dobson) should be ashamed of themselves, for they know not of what they speak. Everyone who has worked on the movies deserves a standing ovation as well for bringing these works to life so amazingly well.

I am grateful to Rowling for showing me, once again, that It Can Be Done. Sometimes it seems that Lewis and Tolkein are standing up on such high pedestals, no mere mortals can climb up to their height. But she has done it, and more recently. So perhaps, just perhaps, I might be able to do it too. It is Encouraging. Not terribly, for the books are so very overwhelming in their finished form, but I have to keep reminding myself that all of them sat down with a blank piece of paper or blank screen in front of them and Just Kept Writing.

Some of my thoughts on the actual book (in case anyone cares):

I find Harry to be one of the most frustrating dolts I have ever come across. I was really, really getting annoyed with him in the last two books, but finally he grew up and shouldered his responsibilities like a man. I kept reminding myself that he is only a teenager, only seventeen by the end, and so I can't expect too much of him. Still, it was a relief when he finally stopped following emotional rabbit trails and Stuck To It. I also have to remind myself that Harry's flaws underline his role as an average guy - the Everyman we can relate to rather than some untouchable golden hero. Except when he's acting under pressure, he isn't really that smart, and it is his friends, mentors and a lot of luck that pull him through.

I wanted to wring his neck when he took Mad-Eye's glass eye from Umbridge's door. I was literally muttering at the book: "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Harry's outburst at Lupin when he came to offer his help was extremely upsetting... I hated him for doing that... however as an author I can see why it was essential for this scene to happen for two reasons: 1) Lupin's character had to offer to help them because it was both his nature and his role to do so, but that 2) Lupin could not go along because Harry, Ron and Hermione had to complete their quest without the help of a mentor. It was Show Time for the three companions. No grown-ups could come along. Using Harry's anger at the loss of his parents to drive Lupin back to his own family was brilliant.

I was relieved that Albus Dumbledore did not come back from the dead. The whole thing with the blue eye in the mirror had me worried. I couldn't believe it. My only thought was that perhaps, somehow, by nature of his violent and untimely death and Harry's dependence upon him, Albus's soul had somehow made an unintentional Horcrux inside of Harry, and it was Albus peeking out of Harry's own eyes in the mirror. It didn't make sense with all that we know about Dumbledore - he would never have done that intentionally - but it was the only explanation I could think of. When I found out it was really his brother using the other mirror, I was immensely relieved.

I was also relieved to find out that Albus wasn't a complete saint. This was quite reassuring and made me trust the story - and the author - even more. It also emphasizes the theme of redemption - that people can change and become more than they originally are.

I did think Hermione and Harry were more than a little dense for falling for the trap laid for them in Godric's Hollow, when the snake disguised itself as Bathilda Bagshot. How stupid can you be? Not the situation itself, but the fact that the house was so clearly decaying around her and that she wouldn't speak except to Harry, in parseltongue.

I am extremely relieved that Snape wasn't a betrayer, and that Dumbledore was not wrong in his judgement of him. Snape as a tragic hero suits me much better. I never quite believed he had killed Dumbledore without his permission. Perhaps because I am such a fan of Alan Rickman, who plays him in the movies. That is one of the complications of seeing the movies first.

I am also glad that Malfoy didn't kill anyone, and that Harry rescued him in the end. I just loved Ron's line in that scene... it was truly classic... "IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU HARRY!" I'm glad that not all the main characters lived. Nothing bugs me more than a battle in which all the main heroes miraculously survive unscathed.

What else did I really love? Let's see... the redemption of Kreacher, the house elf. Fleur and Mrs. Weasley making up. Percy returning to the fold. Luna being so essential. Neville facing Voldemort and killing the snake. I just wish Hagrid had had a chance to do something really heroic. I do wish Sirius had lived longer, though. He was such a complex character... there was so much potential there for an author to play around with. I also wish we had gotten a final glimpse of the Dursleys. I suspect that she wrote it and had to edit it out.

The whole Room of Requirement thing, where all the Order and D.A. members and their families started pouring into Hogwart's, was also brilliant. The search for the Horcruxes. The fact that Harry himself was the final Horcrux. All the stuff with the Elder Wand and who was master of it... Dumbledore? Voldemort? Harry? Malfoy? Snape? The plot was spectacular, unexpected, brilliantly clever, just too too amazing for words (hear me sobbing into the sleeve of my bathrobe with jealousy?)

In short, it was the most exciting and satisfying thing I've read since "The Return of the King."

*sigh* *sniffle* *sob*

(deep breath)

I'll get there. One day. Really I will.

I Miss You!!!!

Hello everyone there on the Internet....I miss you!!!! I know you are waiting for more installments of the Elfin Chronicles but those will be a while in coming. I'm sorry. Have some eggnog and think of me... better yet, think of Christmas Elves!

Merry Christmas!!!

Christine