I have been feeling depressed this past week, about many things. Not just politics, but problems my son is having with friends at school, people I know who are ill or struggling, and about our own financial situation. I feel this black cloud hanging over me and can't sleep. I even don't feel like eating, which is rare!
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.-Howard Thurman
Anyway, I put up a quote from Howard Thurman this week. I don't know who he is, but it's a great quote. I borrowed it from Michelle G. Thanks Michelle!
It's hard sometimes to come alive again when one (or several) things hit. But there are many things to be happy about. Our "cottage" has new windows that make the whole house feel different. We sold a lot of popcorn for Cub Scouts, and Jeff will get a little prize. He caught his first fish this weekend at the lake near our house. My husband is still employed, despite months of dire warnings that the job might be closed down. There are rumors now that funding may be approved to continue the project for another whole year. My students did very well on their last algebra test. By George, I think they've got it!
But the thing that really makes me come alive is doing the thing that I know I was made to do... writing. I still can't understand how this little story of mine is at all important, but somehow it is. I've stopped for a week or so in order to take care of Things That Must Be Done. And to sleep at night. Sleep is good, when you can get it. (see the Zombie Writer post) And after finishing a difficult segment, it seems necessary for me to step back for a little while and give my creative juices a chance to stew. But this morning I was worrying and couldn't sleep, so I got up at 5 a.m. and did some editing of the last couple of that chapters I wrote. The manuscript definitely won't be done by Christmas, but perhaps my house will be in some kind of condition that will allow me to write more and clean up less after the holidays. What a burden material possessions can be! What consumers we Americans are. Ugh.
And when I write, I come alive. When I teach, I come alive. And when I help my son reel in that little wriggling sunfish, I come alive. It's not such a bad life, if you can find a way to create your own life apart from everything else. As somebody said, "Everybody needs their own spot."