Saturday, April 25, 2009

Writer's Block... Finally!

My name is Christine and I am a recovering novelist. I haven't written in 19 days.

I have finally achieved writer's block. I actually opened my novel file last night, looked at it without any inspiration, and closed it again. I wasn't even interested, if you can believe that.

Amazing.

For the writers who come across this blog, the previous statements may be highly depressing. For me, they express both sorrow and relief. I recall saying to my husband a few months ago, "I wonder what it would be like to be normal and not live in two worlds at the same time?"

His response: "Well, you'll never know."

But the turmoil in our home that has resulted from having a wife and mother who is constantly mentally absent, and my own dismay at the frantic haphazardness in which I have been conducting myself at work, forced me to give up the book for a time. I was still addicted to writing and publishing blogs, but am losing interest in those, too. It probably helps that I started reading other people's books again. Imagination abhors a vacuum.

Come In Character has been both a blessing and a curse. In one sense, I have gotten to know my characters a little better by putting them in situations outside of the novel's setting. On the other hand, I am experiencing the sort of disorientation that my friend Michelle G. mentioned a while ago when she worked on a short story about her characters outside of the context of her book.

I wonder now if the book will ever get finished, or if it will go the way of Tea by the Sea, which has sat untouched on my computer for about five years now.

I wonder if there is any way to be the person I need to be when I'm not writing, when I'm writing.

I also wonder if I will ever, in a million years, get caught up with everything at home and work. There is just so much that needs to be done, and it never ends. Everyone knows this... we are all in the same boat. But when I survey the mountain of clutter and disarray in my home, our home, I want to cry.

The summer is fast approaching, along with the crammed 5-week semester I have to teach, and the long, empty blank of vacation which I will have to fill up for my son. Then school starts in September. Ironically, that may be when I start writing again, because I will be teaching only three days a week, rather than five.

Perhaps my book will just have to wait for September. Or perhaps I will find, after all, that I don't need to work on it any more, and that my life is complete without it. Our family life has been so much better the past few weeks. I owe my husband and son my full attention, and my students as well.


What is the dark
shadow around you,
why not take heart
in the new day?
Ever and always.
Always and ever.
No one can promise a dream for you,
Time gave both darkness and dreams to you.


"Once You Had Gold" - Roma Ryan (performed by Enya)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

More Random Thoughts about Publishing

Well, I feel a little better today about the whole "book" thing. I actually got a book out of the library to read for pleasure, something I haven't done in a long while. The cover was gorgeous and inviting, the first pages crisply written, the premise very promising.

It hasn't lived up to its beginning.

I'm about halfway through and can see so many glaring errors in the story structure and characterizations, that I can't believe this ever got published. Except for the fact that the author has 19 other books to her credit, so perhaps this is an example of "brand" selling where the author has such a faithful following she can afford to be a bit lazy.

But, really!

One flaw in particular is my pet peeve. This is a romantic suspense, and the hero is a "hardbitten P.I." and former Delta Force Marine, who is a "loner" and a "nonconformist." So why, oh why, is he leaving a long, explanatory note for the heroine in which he calls her by her first name (Daisy) then adds " remember we agreed that I could call you that instead of Miss Keane? Just reminding you so that you don't think I'm being presumptuous."

Duh.... A guy like that would just say, "Daisy, I had to leave early. Here's what I need you to do: " and gotten on with it, already.

He also definitely would NOT favor a restaurant called Patisserie Valerie in which he had a croissant for breakfast every morning, kiss her hand when they went out for dinner, or say things like, "So, what did you buy for the cruise?" (meaning clothes.)

Basically, he's a woman in a guy's body. I really hate that! Really, really, really, really hate that. It means the female writer didn't take the time to get inside his head and understand him.

This is just one of several things that jumped out at me.

So, I feel a lot better now, for two reasons.
1.
I must understand the art of crafting a novel better than I thought I did, or these things wouldn't bug me.

2. If she could publish 20 books, certainly someone will publish mine. I mean, c'mon!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Random Thoughts about Getting Published

Over the past few weeks, I've visited a lot of writing and agent blogs, and learned a lot about the publishing industry. I just finished the "Be an Agent for a Day" contest over at Nathan Bransford's blog. Initially, I was disappointed that my query wasn't chosen, but after seeing all those wonderfully polished, professional query letters I am glad mine wasn't picked. I would have been so embarrassed!

I have to say that all of the information I'm learning, although extremely helpful, is also making me feel discouraged about my own project. If I hadn't gotten so far already, and if I weren't writing because I feel compelled to, I would probably give up now.

The competition is so fierce, and there are so many better writers out there, and my time is so limited, that I'm feeling strongly tempted to just self-publish my book and give it to relatives for Christmas. I just can't see how anyone can get published these days unless you have something totally fresh, new and different with absolutely killer writing. And I'm not vain enough to think I have it.

But, I do have some very pretty pansies.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Query Letter - the best of a motley batch

Sometimes, the aftermath of peace is war.

Things are back to normal in Belhanor after a violent civil war... or are they? The traitors were beheaded and their families dispossessed, but now some of those same families are plotting to seize back their land. They call themselves the Restorationists, and are working throughout the kingdom in a surprisingly organized fashion. Who is directing them? Could it be the King’s own son, who disappeared five years ago? Or could the King’s nemesis, Lord Synedd, be using them to try to seize the throne a second time?

It’s up to Faldur, a captain of the Rangers, to find out. When he and the remaining Prince discover a Restorationist plot which threatens the Prince’s bride-to-be, Faldur is given the task of escorting her safely to the capital. Accompanying them is the bride’s cousin Marenya, with whom Faldur is trying desperately not to fall in love. Her father, a Ranger and Faldur’s mentor, was killed in the course of duty; witnessing the family’s grief made Faldur vow never to leave anyone behind. In spite of this (or perhaps because of it) he is drawn to her, and she to him.

Danger strikes on the journey, causing them to drastically change their plans. Marenya takes her cousin’s place as decoy after receiving a visit - and a mission - from a mystical golden gryphon. When Faldur’s own man betrays them, she is taken hostage. Soon both Faldur and Marenya realize that an unseen enemy is using the Restorationists as a front for the real plot to murder the prince and overthrow the king. Marenya gains a deeper understanding of Faldur's world as she navigates through a series of dangers for which she is completely unprepared, while he is forced to confront his own ideas about love and loss.

THE GOLDEN GRYPHON, a romantic fantasy in 80,000 words, is romantic in the classical sense as well as because of its romantic subplot. One reader has described it as having a "bottom of the forest floor, Tolkein-like feeling." The story explores how love and loyalty can pull us apart as well as draw us together, and the importance of knowing the truth in order to combat evil. It also examines the role of personal choice versus destiny, the importance of faith in making those choices, and the ultimate responsibility of the individual for all that happens "under Heaven."

Christine Hardy is a writer and college math instructor. This will (hopefully) be her first published work.

(Polite comments are welcome.)

The Golden Gryphon

Chapter One

In the cold crack of winter, the lions came down from the mountains. Nightstalkers, the farmers called them: sleek, black prowlers that hunted at night. They carried off sheep, chickens, and, very occasionally, children. Before the War they had been a rare nuisance, a useful source of tales to frighten youngsters into good behavior. But the King’s brother Synedd, in his ceaseless grasping for the throne, had seen their potential in warfare and taught them to hunt for sport. He used them to supplement his army of traitors, making up in beasts what he lacked in soldiers. In the years following the War, the ones that hadn’t been killed in battle returned to their lone ways. The Rangers who patrolled the border studied their habits and became experts at tracking them down, even to their own lairs.

Faldur Relaszen, Captain of the Ranger pack assigned to the Silverbark Valley, was particularly renowned for his prowess. So when the message came that a nightstalker was plaguing the farms around Glenhym Castle, it was his duty to go and find it. This was not a duty he cherished, however, especially on Midwinter’s Eve. It was a hard thing to pass up the all-night celebration and go out in the snow in search of a wretched creature that would just as soon eat him as whatever livestock it was after. He only hoped it didn’t take all night.

Faldur took Harth with him out to the farm where the nightstalker had last been seen, along with two other Rangers who volunteered, in the hopes of ending up at Glenhym afterwards. Harth was a tall, quiet Lieutenant - capable, strong, cool-headed - with the typical red-blond coloring and blue eyes of the Hanorja. Faldur himself was leaner, darker and more compact. His men called him “the Cat” because of his green eyes and irritating self control. He didn’t mind the nickname. It was true that he had learned long ago not to waste energy on idle talk or movement, especially on the hunt. He supposed, too, that after a while one took on the characteristics of one’s prey, learning to listen and watch the shadows as if one’s life depended on it. Often, it did.

They found the farm easily enough, perched on a ridge of the foothills about three miles from the castle. The neat little house sat near the big stone barn, its garden tucked under a thick blanket of snow. There had been only a light dusting of the white stuff today, so the tracks were still faintly visible in the lantern-light as the farmer showed them to the two Rangers.

“Came up here,” said the farmer, who was just a little older than Faldur himself, with a mass of curly hair, broad shoulders, and a dense smattering of freckles across his cold-chapped cheeks. “Couldn’t get in the barn. I had it shut up tight. But the dories were screaming and kicking the stalls. Smart little devils. They may have frightened it away. But it will be back for the sheep, I’m sure of it. Good thing I’d brought them into the barn. Don’t usually, but it was that cold last night.”

Faldur nodded. Dories were sturdy, sensitive creatures – part pony, part mountain goat – the preferred mounts of the Hanorja. He could imagine them beating a thunderous tattoo to scare the predator away. His own dory, Strider, had once kicked a nightstalker right between the eyes when cornered, stunning the beast long enough for Faldur to kill it. That had been a young female, though, and this was most definitely a male. A large one.

The tracks circled the barn, and then struck up the ridge into the woods. Faldur said, “You’d best go inside, and keep your doors and shutters bolted. Are you going out tonight?”

“We were planning to go to my wife’s brother’s house, but weren’t sure if it was safe.”

“I wouldn’t advise it, not until we kill it.”

The farmer nodded, a worried look on his face. “This isn’t the first this winter. I’ve heard they are coming down around Crikhaven, too. Do you think they are breeding? They don’t usually come down until the new year.”

“It’s possible. But we had an early start to winter.” Faldur clapped the other haman* on the shoulder, and smiled one of his rare smiles. “We’ll get it in time for us all to go to our parties tonight. It’s too cold to linger out here in the dark!”

“Well, there’s food and drink inside for you when you’re through. I’m much obliged.” With that, the farmer turned and trudged away, the light of the lantern bobbing ahead of him.

Faldur said, “Harth, you and Brilward take the southern side. We’ll go north. Stay in sight, follow the tracks, signal if you need help. Keep an arrow strung.”

The Rangers split up, following on either side of the nightstalker’s tracks, keeping a stone’s throw between the two pairs of partners. Harth and Faldur’s partner, Romer, both had their bows ready. Faldur could shoot game, but he preferred a sword for this kind of work. His was a gift from the Prince: light, strong, and perfectly balanced, an extension not just of his body, but of his will.

The tracks wound up along the ridge, then suddenly plunged down into the neck of a shallow, thickly overgrown ravine. Faldur motioned for Harth and Brilward to circle around to the other side and see where the tracks came out, while he and Romer guarded the spot where the lion had gone in. They did so, their gray-green cloaks fading into the gloom. Faldur stared down into the dark bushes, trying to discern the darker outline of a nightstalker, or the reflective gleam of feline eyes.

A soft hooting sound caused him to look up. It was Harth, indicating that they had found the tracks. Faldur and Romer were moving around the ravine to join them, when Faldur saw a black shape leaping up behind the other two.

He yelled, signaling them to jump left. They just barely dived out of its way, and Harth loosed an arrow which lodged in the beast’s shoulder as it overshot them. It turned to attack again, spitting now with pain and fury. Faldur surged forward through the deep snow as the lion pounced on Harth, who was reaching for his next arrow. Before he could get there, however, Romer landed a shot in the nightstalker’s temple and it fell dead. Harth’s legs were trapped under the body, and Brilward moved to assist him.

Then Faldur heard a rustling noise from the ravine. He could just see out of the corner of his eye that a second nightstalker was emerging from the bushes. He heard Brilward shout, “There are two of them!” as he turned to face the lion, thinking that this was too close, that unless he timed it just right and was able to use the lion’s own weight to impale it on his blade, he was dead. Then, just as the nightstalker pounced, he heard the snick of a bowstring, and an arrow whizzed past his cheek, landing in the animal’s chest. Harth had shot it from the ground while his legs were still pinned.
Faldur felt the spray of hot blood on his face, then the sharp cold of snow as he went down with the lion on top of him. He fell backwards into a foot of powder. As he strained for breath only two thoughts came to mind: how grateful he was to be alive, and how much he hated going down.

Romer didn’t assist him right away, which was as it should be. Faldur knew that he had strung another arrow and was waiting for any other nightstalkers to appear. Only when he was sure it was safe did he haul the carcass off of the Captain and help him to his feet.

“They were hunting together!” Romer said.

“Two males,” Faldur gasped as Harth and Brilward joined them. They all knew what that meant. The nightstalkers were hunting in teams again. Their numbers had increased, and they were hungry.
Synedd’s legacy lived on.
*Footnote: Male Hanorja are called hamen, and the women, hawen.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Jesus Is Risen!

We had such a lovely service at church today. I took a bunch of photos, which I will load later. I just want to wish everyone a very blessed Easter Sunday, and if you are celebrating Passover this weekend, I hope that God was close to you in a special way as well.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Coming out of the fog

It's official. I haven't worked on the book for three days now. The fog in my brain is starting to clear.

I have thought about writing, talked about writing, and even taken my characters over to Come In Character, where Marenya went to Las Vegas, Faldur had an emotional breakdown, and Nighfala spoke for the first time. But I haven't actually written.

It feels good. I am starting to feel free of this horrible pressure that has been weighing on me for so long. When I do go back to it, I think I'll be able to tackle it from a new perspective.

Friday, April 3, 2009

New Revelations

Of course, I couldn't help working on Gryphon again today.

It's like the very act of saying "No, I must not do this any more" inspires new revelations. I woke up this morning with new dialogue in my brain that I had to write down.

I think that part of the problem is that I have been trying to make the book fit a mold that it wasn't originally designed for. I'm trying to make it more of a genre fantasy-adventure, and it really isn't. My original vision was to have a deeply moving, character-driven story hung on the frame of a fantasy adventure.

I got discouraged yesterday when I realized how unlike that my story sounds. I really do appreciate everyone's comments. You've challenged me to dig deeper. I did some more rewriting today. If only the rest of my book could get the attention this first chapter has!

I added some more revealing insights into Faldur's character. I also decided not to sweat the exposition. At the bookstore today, I opened half a dozen novels by bestselling authors and every single one of them had several paragraphs, if not a full page or more, of background in the first chapter. Tightly woven and tied to the present action, but exposition none the less. It's only the fantasy or thriller genre novels that have this roller-coaster action that doesn't leave time to explain anything. So I'm really not going to let myself get so frustrated any more.

So, here is the rewrite I did today. I think it casts the relationship between Faldur and Marenya in a much clearer light. More complex, but clearer.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“I am grateful not to be dead,” said Faldur to Harth later. “That was a brilliant shot.” They had cleaned themselves up at the farmhouse, and were riding to Glenhym Castle. It was only eight o’clock but seemed much later; the moon was full and riding above the trees. The four Rangers had been plied with hot cider and chicken pie, so their stomachs were warm despite the cold that numbed their toes.

“Thank you,” Harth said, adding as an afterthought, “Sir.” This was a running joke between them, since Harth made no secret of his ambitions to become a Marshall and outrank the Captain, who liked his life the way it was.

Faldur’s mouth twitched, but he didn’t smile. He couldn’t shake his dismay at being caught off guard. The second lion must have entered at another point and made its way down under cover of the bushes. He should have known, but how could he? He’d never seen a nightstalker lay such a cunning trap before. Not since the War, anyway. Why was this behavior resurfacing now? But perhaps he was reading too much into it. Perhaps it was just an accident that one was hidden and the other returning just as they arrived. He just thanked Heaven that Harth was there.

The sound of music drifted towards them as they climbed the hill to the Castle. The square, towering fortress-in-residence had housed Lord Tarnbel’s family for twelve generations. Tarnbel was a Delfenward, appointed by the King to manage and protect all of the wardlands around Glenhym. Wardlands were owned by the citizenry, but governed by the Delfenward under the King’s authority. Tarnbel was stern, but also fair and conscientious, and thus much loved by his people, or surmen.

The gates stood open tonight, as they usually did, to allow traffic to and from the village of Glenhym Proper. The traffic had clearly been heavy. The sounds of many voices spilled out through the windows along with long streams of light on the snow. The groom greeted the Rangers as they dismounted, and took their dories. They strode up the wide steps to the entrance. Despite what had just happened, or perhaps because of it, Faldur was seized with a fierce desire to hold someone pretty and dance until dawn. Marenya. He wanted to see Marenya.

“You shall see an amazing sight tonight,” joked Harth to Brilward and Romer. “A dancing Cat.”

“The Captain dances?” Romer was new to their pack.

“I’m not totally uncivilized,” was Faldur’s reply.

“I wonder if Firn Highcliff’s daughter is here?” wondered Romer. “Marenya, isn’t that her name? She’s turned out very pretty, I hear.”

“Paws off!” warned Faldur sharply.

Harth shot Romer a warning look, which Romer failed to notice. He mistook Faldur’s meaning as a social one. “But, Sir, her father was one of us.”

“Exactly. And now he’s dead. The last thing she needs is a Ranger! So paws off. That’s an order.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Faldur strode ahead of them, feeling Romer’s eyes on his back. He knew what a hypocrite Romer would think him, but he’d let Harth explain. Since her father’s death, Faldur had kept a watchful eye on the girl. He felt it his duty to spend time with her and her mother Erinor, get to know them, and help them if he could. Fortunately, they had ended up in the Delfenward’s house due to the fact that Erinor and the Delfenward’s late wife had been cousins. This meant that their material needs were provided for. Erinor had only her husband's small pension. Marenya, who had indeed grown up pretty, was like a younger sister to him. She was also one of the few people in the world who accepted his company without challenging, questioning or chatter. She was restful to his spirit, and he seized any opportunity to be in her presence.

* * *

Marenya was not a natural dancer, though her confidence had grown through the years. Faldur watched the tiny furrow in her brow as she concentrated, and her bursts of laughter when she made a mistake. Soon they found their mutual rhythm and lost all sense of time and place, knowing nothing but the music and each other and the vibrations of their feet as they pounded on the floor. Her face was flushed, her lips smiling, her long hair tumbling out of its combs. After several unsuccessful attempts to pin it up again, she let it fly loose around her shoulders. He let his thoughts fly loose – just a little – as well. He hadn’t seen much of her this past year. For the first time it dawned on him that she truly was all grown up. A hawin in her own right, past the age of choosing. This discovery both astonished him and increased his pleasure as he took her hand and released it again and again, a constant agony of losing and reclaiming.

At last, unbelievably, it was midnight.

* * *

Something stirred in Faldur that he hadn’t felt in ages. It had been so long since he’d known anything but the company of his men, the cramped, smoky barracks, bad food, worse weather, constant watchfulness, and danger, that he had nearly forgotten what he was fighting for. As well, he couldn't help thinking that if things had been just a little different, if Harth's aim had been even slightly off, he wouldn't be standing there at all. Marenya was in his arms, soft, warm and still a little drowsy. They were standing behind everyone else. No one was looking at them. He bent his head down to hers and kissed her, their breath mingling in the frosty air. She froze at first in surprise, then responded with a sweetness that made his head spin.

When the kiss ended, her deep blue eyes gazed up at him with wonder, and the same devotion he had seen in Pelwyn’s face when she looked at Mel.

All at once, Faldur realized what he had done... and cursed himself.

* * *

Faldur sat in the corner of Strider’s stall with his head in his hands. The bark-colored dory butted his curving horns against Faldur’s arm, wanting attention, but Faldur shoved him away. Firn Highcliff’s daughter was in love with him. How could this have happened? Marenya, whom he had guarded so diligently, needed guarding from him.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Requiem for a Novel

As a writer - not yet an author - I find myself standing on the brink of a precipice.

My original vision has expired. I have fulfilled it to the best of my ability. It isn't fantastic, but then, I never expected it to be. I never really expected it to be anything at all.

It is, at its best, only an incomplete glimpse of the true story underneath. It glitters faintly on the surface but the hidden geode, with all its color and facets, has yet to be cracked open.

I have five characters whose lives are inextricably intertwined. I have a world that breathes and lives in its own sphere. I have creatures that are both similar to and entirely different from any I've seen or imagined before. I have part of a new language that patters its rhythms in my head like rain.

I have 80,060 words arranged into thirty-two badly written chapters within one poorly structured novel.

Like a phoenix, this needs to be reduced to ashes and reborn. But there isn't time now for me to do it. It's taken two years to get this far, and I'm exceptionally proud of what I have accomplished. But it could be so much more.

I am letting it go. Faldur, Marenya, Raynor, Melbrinor and Pelwyn... farewell. You are free to be yourselves, whomever you turn out to be. I will find out one day, but it won't be today, nor tomorrow, nor next week. It will be when I finally have the time and mental energy to make the vision complete. I have to stop this hectic half-life I am living, that does no good for anyone, especially not me. Obsession is a poor bedfellow, and a worse friend.

Until we meet again - and we will - Aden fath. Have faith.

Neuschwanstein castle from Marienbruecke, Bavaria, Germany

Can you say it in one sentence?

I was looking at writing books on Amazon, and found a really killer "inside peek" of a book on screenwriting that totally nails how to do a one-liner description. It's called Save The Cat: The Last Book on Screenwriting You'll Ever Need by Blake Snyder.

What he says is to think of how you would pitch your story in one sentence to friends who are looking in the newspaper for a movie to see on Friday night. This is called a "logline." For example:

A businessman falls in love with the hooker he hires to be his date for the weekend. - Pretty Woman

A cop comes to LA to visit his estranged wife and her office building is taken over by terrorists - Die Hard.

He also says how important irony is - all these situations are ironic in some way.

So after reading this I thought,

Well, heck then, my logline is:


A Ranger has to rescue the girl he's secretly in love with, after she puts herself in danger to protect him.

(insert gratuitous photo of Hugh Jackman here -----> )

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Why Books Are Here to Stay

For anyone who's worried about the demise of real books, this is a must read:

Why Books Are Here to Stay


Another post on the same blog asked "Is It Really Books We Love?" (or just the words themselves.) This is my reply:


I absolutely love books themselves. The feel of the glossy cover, the smell of new ink on the pages, the sound of the pages being turned, the way the pages and corners soften with time and use. I love being able to toss one in my handbag to take along with me while I wait in X location for Y person. I like the fact that if a book gets wet or dropped... no worries! I can pick it up, dry it out, and it's still just fine. I can even read in the bathtub if I want.

An expensive electronic device like a Kindle is going to give me headaches from looking at the screen. If I drop it or get it wet, bye-bye hundreds of dollars! And it's not just the one book that is lost, but all the books stored on it. I won't be able to "read" until it is replaced.

I think that books - real, physical, paper books - will eventually become luxury items, and all the poor slobs who can't afford them will have Kindles.

The Revised Revised Opener

Chapter One

In the cold crack of winter, the lions came down from the mountains. Nightstalkers, the farmers called them: huge, sleek, black prowlers that hunted at night. They carried off sheep, goats, chickens and, very occasionally, children. Before the War they had been a rare nuisance, a useful source of tales to keep youngsters in their beds at night and frighten them into good behavior. But the King’s brother Synedd, in his ceaseless grasping for the throne, had seen their potential in warfare and had trained them to hunt in packs. The females mainly hunted for food; this had always been the case. But Synedd bred males for his own use, created blood-lust in them and taught them to hunt for sport. He had used them to supplement his army of traitors, making up in beasts what he lacked in soldiers.

After Synedd’s defeat, the nightstalkers were scattered. Most of them had been killed in battle, but a few survived, returning to their lone ways in the mountains. The Rangers diligently studied the lions’ habits; in the score of years following the War they became renowned for their prowess at tracking and killing them.

So it was Faldur’s duty, as captain of the Ranger pack assigned to the Silverbark Vallen, to hunt down the nightstalker that had been plaguing the farms around Glenhym Castle. It was not a duty he cherished, however, especially on Midwinter’s Eve. It was a hard thing to pass up the all-night celebration and go out into the snow in search of a wretched monster that would just as soon eat him as whatever livestock it was stalking. But, the sooner it was done the sooner he could join the dancing in the Great Hall. He only hoped it didn’t take all night.

Faldur took Harth with him out to the farm where the nightstalker had last been seen, along with two other Rangers who volunteered for the job in the hopes of landing at Glenhym later. Harth was a tall, quiet Lieutenant - capable, strong, cool-headed - with the typical red-blond coloring and blue eyes of the Hanorja. Faldur himself was leaner, darker and more compact. His men called him “the cat” because of his green eyes and rigid self-control. He didn’t mind the nickname; in a way, it was a mark of respect. He supposed, too, that after a while one took on the characteristics of one’s prey, learning to listen and watch the shadows as if one’s life depended on it. Often, it did.

They found the farm easily enough, perched on a ridge of the foothills, about three miles from the castle. The neat little house sat near the big stone barn, its garden tucked under a thick blanket of snow. There had been only a light dusting of the white stuff today, so the tracks were still faintly visible in the lantern-light as the farmer showed them to the two Rangers.

“Came up here,” said the farmer, who was just a little older than Faldur himself, with a mass of curly red hair, broad shoulders, and a dense smattering of freckles across his cold-chapped cheeks. “Couldn’t get in the barn; I had it shut up tight. But the dories were screaming and kicking the stalls. Smart buggers; they may have frightened it away. But it will be back for the sheep, I’m sure of it. Good thing I’d brought them into the barn. Don’t usually, but it was that cold last night.”

Faldur nodded. Dories were sturdy, sensitive creatures – part pony, part mountain goat – the preferred mounts of the Hanorja. He could imagine them beating a thunderous tattoo to scare the predator away. His own dory, Strider, had once kicked a nightstalker right between the eyes when cornered, stunning the beast long enough for Faldur to kill it. That had been a young female, though, and this was most definitely a male. A large one.

The tracks circled the barn, and then struck up the ridge into the woods. Faldur said, “You’d better go inside, and keep your doors and shutters bolted. Are you going out tonight?”

“We were planning to go to my wife’s brother’s house, but weren’t sure if it was safe.”

“I wouldn’t advise it, not until we kill it.”

The farmer nodded, a worried look on his face. “This isn’t the first this winter. I’ve heard they are coming down around Crikhaven too. Do you think they are breeding? They don’t usually come down until the new year.”

“It’s possible. But we had an early start to winter, too.” Faldur clapped the other haman on the shoulder (male Hanorja are called hamen, and their women, hawen), and smiled one of his rare smiles. “We’ll get it in time for us all to go to our parties tonight. It’s too cold to linger out here in the dark!”

“Well, there’s food and drink inside for you when you’re through. I’m much obliged.” With that, the farmer turned and trudged away, the light of the lantern bobbing ahead of him and then disappearing around the corner of the barn.

“Harth, you and Brilward take the southern side. We’ll go north. Stay in sight; follow the tracks, signal if you need help. Keep an arrow strung.”

The Rangers nodded and split up, following on either side of the nightstalker’s tracks, keeping a stone’s throw between the two pairs of partners. Harth and Faldur’s partner, Romer, both had their bows ready. Faldur could shoot game, but he preferred a sword for this kind of work.

The tracks wound up along the ridge, then suddenly plunged down into the neck of a thickly overgrown ravine. Faldur didn’t like the look of it. He motioned for Harth and Brilward to circle around to the other side and see where the tracks came out, while he and Romer guarded the spot where the lion had gone in. They did so, their gray-green cloaks fading into the gloom. Faldur stared down into the dark bushes, trying to discern the darker outline of a nightstalker, or the reflective gleam of feline eyes.

A soft hooting sound caused his head to jerk up. It was Harth, indicating that they had found the tracks. Faldur and Romer were moving around the neck of the ravine to join them, when Faldur saw a black shape leaping up behind the other two.

He yelled, signaling them to jump left. They just barely dived out of the way, and Harth loosed an arrow which lodged in the beast’s shoulder as it overshot them. It turned to attack again, spitting now with pain and fury. Faldur dashed forward with his blade as the lion pounced on Harth, who was reaching for his next arrow. Before he could get there, however, Romer had landed a shot in the nightstalker’s temple and it fell dead on the snow. Harth’s legs were trapped under the lion’s body, and Brilward moved to assist him.

Then Faldur heard a rustling noise from close by in the ravine. He could just see out of the corner of his eye that a second nightstalker was emerging from the bushes at the bottom. He heard Brilward shout, “There are two of them!” as he turned to face the lion, thinking that this was too close, that unless he timed it just right and was able to use the lion’s own weight to impale it on his blade, he was dead. Then, just as the lion pounced, he heard the snick of a bowstring, and an arrow whizzed past his nose, landing in the nightstalker’s chest. Harth had shot it from the ground while his legs were still pinned. Faldur felt the spray of hot blood on his face and the sting of claws raking his arm, then the sharp cold of snow as he went down with the lion on top of him.

Romer strung another arrow and stood ready, turning and searching for another nightstalker, but none appeared. Only when he was sure it was safe did he free Faldur from the beast’s carcass and haul him to his feet.

“They were hunting together!” cried Romer.

“Two males,” Faldur agreed, as Harth and Brilward joined them. They all knew what that meant. The nightstalkers were hunting in teams again. Their numbers had increased, and they were hungry.

* * *

“That was a brilliant shot,” said Faldur to Harth later. “I thought my luck had run out.” They had cleaned themselves up at the farmhouse, and were riding to Glenhym Castle. It was only eight o’clock but seemed much later; the moon was full and floated above the trees. The four Rangers had been plied with hot cider and chicken pie, so their stomachs were warm despite the cold that numbed their toes.

“Not yet,” said Harth, referring to Faldur’s luck. “Not while I’m here.”

Faldur’s mouth twitched, but he didn’t smile. He should have realized that the ravine was a trap. The second lion must have entered at another point and made its way down under cover of the bushes. He should have known, but how could he? He’d never seen a nightstalker lay such a cunning trap before. How were they learning this, and why now? But perhaps he was reading too much into it. Perhaps it was just an accident that one was hidden and the other returning just as they arrived. They were only beasts, after all. He just thanked Heaven that Harth was there.

The sound of music drifted towards them as they climbed the hill to the Castle. It was a square, towering fortress-in-residence that had housed Lord Tarnbel’s family for twelve generations. He was a Delfenward, appointed by the King to manage and protect all of the wardlands around Glenhym – lands owned by the citizenry, but ruled by the Delfenward under the King’s authority. The gates stood open tonight, as they usually did, to allow traffic to and from the village of Glenhym Proper. The traffic had clearly been heavy, for the sounds of many voices spilled out through the windows along with long streams of light on the snow. The groom greeted the Rangers warmly as they dismounted, and took their dories. They strode up the wide steps to the entrance. Despite what had just happened, or perhaps because of it, Faldur was seized with a fierce desire to hold someone pretty and dance until dawn. Marenya. He wanted to see Marenya.

In the Hall, a well-stoked fire blazed in the great fireplace, the musicians sweated and bobbed over their instruments, and a gaily milling crowd of all ages and descriptions danced and talked and ate and laughed. Lord Tarnbel spied the Rangers and made his way across the room to clasp their wrists and welcome them. The Delfenward was a tall, stern haman with a sharp nose and even sharper turquoise-colored eyes. He drew the Captain aside and listened intently as Faldur told him what had happened.

“Well done. I’d like to talk to you tomorrow, but for now, enjoy yourself.” He clapped Faldur on the shoulder. “It’s excellent to see you.”

“Faldur!” cried a hearty voice. “You’re never on patrol tonight?” A blond, handsome face attached to a set of very broad shoulders moved through the crowd. It was Melbrinor himself, the King’s eldest son, his cheeks dimpling deeply as he stretched out his hand to his friend. Melbrinor, known to his friends as simply Mel, possessed not only the unusual height and magical ability of the line of the kings, but an irrepressible charm that made hawen worship him and hamen shake their heads with disbelieving envy. Only those closest to him knew how heavy the burdens were that he carried, and how deep his commitment was to his people.

“We can’t all be lazy bastards. I had some things to attend to.”

“Things?” Mel raised his eyebrows knowingly.

“Two of them.”

A flicker of concern crossed Mel’s face, but he didn’t want to alarm the room so he kept his tone light. “Then you need a drink!”

“A large one,” said Faldur, as his friend steered him towards the ale, adding casually, “I didn’t think you’d be out this way tonight.” Glenhym was six days’ ride from Tor Aden, the capital. Faldur guessed, however, that it was Tarnbel’s daughter Pelwyn who had inspired the Prince to ride so far. Midwinter was the one night of the year in which it was not only seemly, but expected, to stay up until dawn making merry.

“I’ve asked and she’s consented,” said Mel in an undertone. He spoke so that only Faldur could hear, but couldn’t stop the smile from bursting on his face.

Faldur was not surprised at the news. “I’m very happy for you! Poor Pelwyn; she’s the one who needs a drink. Does she have any idea what she’s getting into?”

“I hope not, not until after the wedding anyway.” Mel was only half-joking. Hawen fell at his feet like wilting lilies, but those in whom he expressed more than a passing interest usually fled from the responsibility of becoming the future Queen. “Tarnbel will make the announcement tonight. I’m glad you didn’t miss it.”

“I almost did,” said Faldur grimly.

Just then the music ended, and the dancers came up to the tables seeking refreshment. Mel and Faldur raised their mugs over the heads of the guests and edged out of the way. They spied Pelwyn and her cousin Marenya standing by one of the windows, talking animatedly while they took deep gulps of cool air. The two hawen made a pleasing pair: Pelwyn with her cornsilk-colored hair, heart-shaped face and the family’s signature turquoise eyes, and Marenya, not as waiflike, but slim and capable, with long-fingered hands, a slightly crooked smile, and quizzical eyebrows in a smooth, oval face. Her eyes were the color of the evening sky, and her hair the reddish-bronze of autumn leaves.

Faldur approached her and was rewarded by her smile of delight. He clasped her wrist in greeting, then clasped Pelwyn’s as well, saying, “I wish both of you every happiness.”

“Thank you, Captain!” she cried. “I only hope that one day you can be as happy.” Faldur bowed, choosing not to take the hint. He had determined long ago never to leave a widow behind; all he wanted tonight was to dance.

So when the musicians took up their instruments again, he took Marenya’s hand and led her into the center of the room. The couples formed a grid that covered the entire floor. Like everything else the Hanorja did, their dancing was both spirited and complex; unlike anything else they did, it seemed a kind of barely-controlled madness, though in fact the movements were carefully prescribed. The whirling, weaving couples moved through every position on the floor and back again in breathless time. They touched nothing but each other’s hands, losing and reclaiming each other as they changed partners over and over again.

Marenya was not a natural dancer, though her confidence had grown through the years. Faldur loved the tiny furrow in her brow as she concentrated, and her bursts of laughter when she made a mistake. Soon they found their mutual rhythm and lost all sense of time and place, knowing nothing but the music and each other and the vibrations of their feet as they pounded on the floor. Her face was flushed, her lips smiling, her long hair tumbling out of its combs. After several unsuccessful attempts to pin it up again, she let it fly loose around her shoulders. For once, he let his thoughts fly loose as well. Marenya was all grown up and she was beautiful, and her eyes sought only him.

At last, unbelievably, it was midnight. Wine was handed round, and Lord Tarnbel brought Melbrinor and Pelwyn forward for a toast, joining their hands and standing them in front of the assembly.

“Tonight the Prince has asked for my daughter’s hand in marriage!” There was a burst of cheering that threatened to split the beams of the ancient roof. Tarnbel motioned for quiet, and eventually got it. “I could not have parted with her to a lesser haman, but I dare not refuse to part with her to this one.” Laughter. “I only wish her mother were here to see this day. She has always been the princess of our house, and so it is only fitting that she should one day be our Queen.” He raised his glass. “To Lady Pelwyn and Prince Melbrinor!”

“Lady Pelwyn and Prince Melbrinor!” The guests all drank to the couple, and the cheering began again, along with a number of impromptu toasts, most of which had to do with the number of their offspring. Pelwyn was remarkably calm, glancing at Mel with a touching devotion. To Faldur’s surprise, the Prince was looking a bit nonplussed, and there was a flush rising from his neck. Well, hack down the Hedgewood, he thought. Mel has finally met his match.

* * *

After the toast, Faldur and Marenya discovered that they were hungry, and by the time they had eaten, they no longer felt like dancing, though the music continued. Faldur found that the thing he wanted most was to sit in a corner and smoke, so he did, taking out his pipe and the little bag of pipecherry leaves he always carried. Marenya sat by him in companionable silence. She didn’t mind the smoke; she had told him once that it reminded her of her father. He didn’t tell her that her father was the one who had introduced him to it, when Faldur first took his oath with the Rangers.

The musicians finally put down their instruments and staggered off to bed. The guests joked and talked, settling on the floor when all the benches were filled. Some time later the Prince and Pelwyn disappeared through a side door, although Faldur noticed that Erinor, Marenya’s mother, trailed discreetly after them. He smiled and glanced at Marenya to see if she had noticed. She was falling asleep, hunched in an uncomfortable position against the wall.

Reaching out, he drew her to his side so that she could rest her head on his shoulder.

“I’m so tired!” she murmured. “But I don’t want to fall asleep. I don’t want to miss the sunrise.” It was tradition to stay awake all night on Midwinter’s Eve, and see the sun reappear after the longest night of the year.

“I’ll wake you,” he said.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

The room was dim; both the fire and the conversation were dying. He held her, listening to her breathing as she fell asleep, and when her head began to droop he eased it onto his lap. She looked so young - so untouched. He dozed a little but didn’t sleep, always alert in a corner of his mind. This was partly due to habit, and partly because he didn’t want to dream about the nightstalker. He was afraid he might cry out and startle her, and didn’t want to explain. As well, he had promised to wake her.

At last the first pink light began to seep across the sky. The guests stretched and stirred, moving outside in little groups. He shook Marenya gently.

“Is it morning?” She sat up and blinked, trying not to look astonished at finding herself with her head in his lap.

“Yes. Everyone’s gone outside.”

They walked out into the cold stillness of the garden, and up the steps to the wall. She shivered, and he wrapped his arms around her, for they had forgotten to bring their cloaks. Below them lay the patchwork of fields and farms that composed Tarnbel’s wardlands, bounded on the east by the gleaming ribbon of the Silverbark River and on the west by the sentinal peaks of the Dagger Mountains. Everything was sparkling with snow and a pinkish golden light, clean and new and perfect like the first morning ever dawned.

Something stirred in Faldur that he hadn’t felt in ages. It had been so long, so very long, since he’d known anything but the company of his men, the cramped, smoky barracks, bad food, worse weather, constant watchfulness, and danger, that he had nearly forgotten what he was fighting for. As well, he couldn't help thinking that if things had been just a little different, if Harth's aim had been even slightly off, he wouldn't be standing there at all.

Marenya was in his arms, soft, warm and still a little drowsy. They were standing behind everyone else; no one was looking at them. He bent his head down to hers and kissed her, their breath mingling in the frosty air. She froze at first in surprise, then responded with a sweetness that made his head spin.

When the kiss ended, her deep blue eyes gazed up at him with wonder, and the same devotion he had seen in Pelwyn’s face when she looked at Mel.

All at once, Faldur realized what he had done... and cursed himself.

* * *

Faldur sat in the corner of Strider’s stall with his head in his hands. Firn Highcliff’s daughter. He had been romancing Firn Highcliff’s daughter.

Faldur would never forget when they brought Firn’s body into the post, wrapped in his Ranger’s cloak, the blood seeping through the fabric. They told him not to look, but Firn had been like a second father to the young recruit. Faldur needed to see exactly what the nightstalker had done to him. It wasn't pleasant, but the older haman looked peaceful and his face was mostly untouched. For that, at least, Faldur was grateful. It meant that Erinor could say good-bye to him.

Marenya hadn’t cried at the funeral. She was just a slender whip of a lass then, no longer a child but not yet a hawin. She had stood silently beside her mother, watching the proceedings with solemn eyes. Erinor withstood bravely until the end, but broke into sobs as her husband was placed in the ground, pressing her hands against her mouth as if she could somehow hold the sounds in. Marenya’s young face had twisted in anguish as she tried to comfort her mother, and at the same time fully grasp what was happening. Her father had died saving someone else’s child, and left his own family fatherless.

It was then, at that moment, that Faldur had sworn never to leave anyone behind. Faldur was a Ranger until he died, but he wouldn’t be a father or a husband. He wouldn’t put anyone through that for his sake.

Especially not Marenya.