I am really struggling today over what to do. It's the first day of my summer "break". I have five weeks between now and the start of my summer class. I am home alone this morning... the house is dead quiet. I would love to just open my little file and try to get back into my story. I've been so depressed about the whole thing lately, and almost determined to give it up permanently. But there's something about opportunity. Like murder: means, motive and opportunity. I have the means (the computer), I'm wavering on the motive - is it worth it? I'm still not sure. And then there is opportunity.
I could forget about everything and write for an hour or two. But, the house is a disaster, we are bringing the new puppy home tonight, the checkbook needs balancing, I have to do the grocery shopping and plan the meals for the next few days, and I haven't even had a shower yet. This is how I got into trouble before. Saying "the heck with it" and following my muse.
I must deny the muse a little longer. I'll never be successful until I learn how to keep my priorities straight, and frankly I'm tired of always being on the edge of disaster. I feel like a dog who's burned his nose on a hot pizza. I fear even the smell of my novel right now. I wiped it off the hard drive, along with all of the photos I had for inspiration. It's gone. I have it backed up on a flash drive, and the older versions are on CD as well, and I've emailed most of it to friends. So there are plenty of copies out there.
For the moment, however, it's not readily available and I think that's a good thing.
Phone... gotta go.